Sermons on Christian Marriage

The most important principle for understanding the apostle Paul’s teaching in Ephesians 5:22–23 is his command that all “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In this sermon on Ephesians 5:22–23 titled “Basic Principles,” Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones notes that all relationships and all that the Christian does must be done out of love of God and love of neighbor. There is no place for self-centered and self-serving attitudes in the Christian life. When people do not have this principle as the guide to relationships, things go wrong. Much of modern society is a testament to this fact in the commonness of divorce. This is because people have rejected God’s way and set up their own. As all Christians know, belief and practice cannot be separated from one another. But this is precisely what happens in modern society when people do not have the proper understanding of marriage. They say it is simply a human contract that can be broken any time by anyone. This rejection of the Christian view of marriage is a testament to what happens when people reject God’s word as the only sure and true foundation for human life and practice.

What does God’s word say about marriage? Sadly, what it does say is often misunderstood and attacked because it confronts the thinking of today. In this sermon on Ephesians 5:22–24 titled “The Order of Creation,” Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones argues that Scripture alone presents a balanced view of the roles and responsibilities within marriage. Only in Scripture is it taught that wives are to submit to their husbands in love and respect just as Jesus Christ submits to God. There is no authoritarianism because the husband’s role as leader is one of love and service, not domination and cruelty. Dr. Lloyd-Jones shows how this view of marriage is taught from the beginning of the Bible in Genesis before the fall. Even in the perfect Garden of Eden, woman was created as a helper for man. Even before the fall, man was the head, provider, and protector of the woman in the relationship between husband and wife. Paul expounds on the teaching in Ephesians 5:22–24 and is not saying anything different from the rest of the Bible. So those who reject this teaching of male headship are not only rejecting the teachings of the historic Christian church, but also of God’s infallible word. The rejection of the biblical understanding of marriage is at the heart of many of society’s problems. When people try to live in direct contradiction to God’s plan, there is always suffering and unrest.

According to Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, the biblical view of marriage is not a sacrament or simply a legal union. The biblical view is a covenant union between a man and woman that reflects the relationship between Christ and the church. Because marriage is a picture of this relationship, Christians are not to marry someone who does not have faith in Christ. In this sermon on Ephesians 5:22–24 titled “The Analogy of the Body,” Dr. Lloyd-Jones argues that husbands are to care for their wives in the same way that Christ cares for His church, and that the wife is to submit to the husband as the church submits to Christ. This submission is to be seen in the broader context of a loving relationship where both seek the good of the other. This does not make the wife inferior or less than the husband as some claim. Nor does this mean that the wife has to do everything that the husband commands without exception. The wife is to serve God and Christ before any other. All believers are ultimately under the authority of Jesus Christ.

The Bible tells that in marriage the wife is to submit to the loving and caring leadership of the husband, just as Christ himself submits to God the Father. Additionally, husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. In this sermon on true love from Ephesians 5:25–33, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones exhorts that every Christian marriage is to be marked by this love and service. It is not to be an oppressive and cruel union, but in all things it is to reflect Christ’s love. It is also to be marked by real communion and fellowship between husband and wife. Dr. Lloyd-Jones says this to confront the error that says that all sexual and physical pleasure in marriage is either wrong or not important. The Christian marriage is one that involves many forms of love, including physical love. This is in stark contrast to those who teach celibacy and abstention from sexual pleasure as a higher life than that of the married. This kind of thinking misses the biblical teaching that marriage is good and created by God for His glorification and human enjoyment. It is God who made marriage as a representation of the great relationship between Christ Jesus and the church.

Many in society have a flippant view of love. It may be seen when a couple confesses their undying love to one another and soon are no longer together. Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones reminds how this is also seen in many songs and poems. But all of this is in stark contrast to how God’s word presents love in general, as well as His love for Christians and the church. This love is one that prompted Him to send His only begotten Son to die a painful death as an atoning sacrifice for those who were His enemies. This is a sanctifying love that transforms and renews. In this sermon on Ephesians 5:25–27 titled “The Bride of Christ,” Dr. Lloyd-Jones states that it is the love that puts others before oneself. This is the love that was demonstrated on the cross and is to be demonstrated in marriage. Just as Christ loved His church and gave Himself up for it, so also must the husband love his wife even as he loves his very own flesh. This is the great calling upon all husbands: to love their wives just as Christ loves His church in a pure and sacrificial love that is unblemished by sin and is without the taint of self service. This is the bountiful picture of love that God gives in Christ.

Sanctification is an essential and inevitable part of life for all who are truly regenerate and saved. In this sermon on Ephesians 5:25–27 titled “Purification of the Bride,” Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones describes it is a lifelong process by which the believer is conformed to the image of Christ and grown in love and knowledge of God the Savior. It is the outworking of the justification and forgiveness of sin that all Christians receive at salvation by becoming partakers of the gospel of Christ Jesus. The word of God is essential to sanctification. However, this is not the belief that Christians are to “let go and let God,” but rather it is the recognition that the word of God is the means that the Holy Spirit uses to grow Christians in knowledge and love of Christ. Another erroneous view of sanctification and salvation is that of baptismal regeneration. This is the view that at baptism Christians are cleansed of original guilt and the stain of sin. Biblically, baptism is a sign of the transformation and new life that one has in Christ, not the means of acquiring it. Another essential aspect of sanctification is the conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit. The word of God, particularly the Ten Commandments, can be used to further sanctify and bring Christians closer to God.

By the life, death, and resurrection of Christ Jesus, the church has been redeemed from sin and cleansed from all unrighteousness. In this sermon on Ephesians 5:25–33 titled “The Bride’s Privileges,” Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones preaches that the bride of Christ comes to enjoy all the benefits and blessings that He brings. They are accepted before God the Father on the basis of who Christ is and their belief in Him. This is one of the most central truths to understand in the Christian life. In it is seen that the church has been seated with Christ in the heavenly places and delivered from this present evil age. Not only are Christians justified by Christ but the church, and therefore all believers, have true and lasting fellowship with Him. This is a great comfort for Christians who struggle and suffer in this world. As Dr. Lloyd-Jones describes, Christians can turn and look to Christ knowing that He loves and cares for them as deeply as a husband loves his bride. Christ in His love for His church also gives an example for all husbands for what it looks like to love their wives wholly and completely. It is Christ’s love of the church that should model for all Christians what true love looks like.

What is the duty of a Christian husband? The duty of the husband in the Christian marriage is to build up his wife in the love of Christ. In this sermon on the command “husbands, love your wives” from Ephesians 5:25–33, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones confronts the fact that many Christians never think through the nature of a Christian marriage. Instead they simply adopt whatever is popular in culture at the time. The apostle Paul gives a conception of marriage that is understood in the beautiful metaphor of Christ and His church. From this is seen that the husband’s duties in the marriage is one of great significance and importance. As the head of his wife, the husband is to imitate Christ in His love of the church. There is a high calling, for this is a great privilege and responsibility for the husband. The husband is to live with his wife as his other half, not simply another relationship in his life. This is completely unique to the marriage relationship and demands the highest priority and care. It is the husband’s responsibility to put his wife above all others and to lead her in love and a spirit of gentleness. He is to help her love God and Christ Jesus more by having loving care and leadership in the marriage.